F*ck Around and Find Out with Anna Lee: What’s up with boobs and pubes?

Hello my pumpkin-flavored hotties! I swear I just told myself, “I’ve got two whole months to figure out my Halloween costume.” And now suddenly Halloween is just one day away and I have…nothing. So my choices are: be a banana for the third year in a row, or dig out the princess costume I bought for a TikTok video about the “science of being a pillow princess.” Honestly, at this point, I might just commit to the bit. Or be a banana princess, I guess. Anyways, let’s kick off the sex advice!

Why do men like boobs? - Josie

You know what, your question actually got me curious and I was quite surprised to find that there were quite a handful of papers around the theories of why men are attracted to breasts—like papers dating back to 1905 from Sigmund Freud. Now, without writing an entire essay of all the theories throughout history, I’ll rapid fire some of the most popular theories for your enjoyment.

One idea is evolutionary. Studies like in 2004, led by Jasienska found that certain breast and waist-to-hip ratios line up with higher levels of estrogen and progesterone. Both of which are hormones tied to fertility. So the theory goes that perky, full boobs might have once signaled “good baby-making odds.”

Another study from 2013, led by Swami & Tovée, showed that hungry men rated larger breasts as more attractive than men with full bellies…yes. I’m being so serious. So the researchers argue that since breasts are mostly fat tissue, they can cue the survival brain that they are “well-fed and healthy.”

My personal favorite silly one is the “buttocks mimicry” theory, proposed by zoologist Desmond Morris in 1967. He famously proposed that with bipedalism and face-to-face sex, breasts evolved to mimic buttocks as a frontal sexual signal. Modern researchers think that one’s more poetic than proven, but it’s very fun to imagine.

There’s also the popular “oxytocin bonding” idea. It’s that touching or kissing breasts releases the same hormone that bonds moms and babies, turning foreplay into emotional glue.

Finally, of course there’s the efforts from culture and media. Porn, advertising, and social media have pushed the idea that boobs equal sex. Interestingly, what counts as erotic varies by culture. Breasts are eroticized in many, but not all, societies. And preferences for breast size also vary. On a side note, in researching breast sizes, I learned that the average breast size in the US is 34DD. There’s a fun fact for ya!

This might seem like a weird question, especially because I’ve (woman) had (and enjoy having) sex with my boyfriend, but how do I know if I orgasm? It’s hard to tell him if I “came” or not when we’re done. Usually I just assure him that he made me feel good/amazing/etc… -Anonymous

This is not a weird question at all. In fact, it’s one of the most common ones I get. A lot of women say the same thing: When they masturbate, they know when they orgasm. But during partnered sex? It’s suddenly a little more questionable.

There’s a reason for that. When you’re alone, your brain can fully zoom in on the sensations building up in your body. When you’re with a partner, your attention splits. You’re thinking about their pleasure, the touches, the emotions, maybe even the sounds of your cat scratching at your locked bedroom door. Your brain’s multitasking, which makes it harder to track the actual moment of orgasm.

There are some physical signs your body might have gone full O-mode that you can look out for: your pelvic floor muscles contract in rhythmic pulses (usually every 0.8 seconds or so), your breathing and heart rate shoot up, your pupils dilate, and your clit often gets extra sensitive right after. Some people describe a sudden wave or release, others feel a deep internal “flutter.” And sometimes, it’s more subtle like a soft hum.

If you’re not sure, that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re “broken” or missing out. Pleasure really isn’t a pass/fail test. Instead of focusing on if you came, try focusing on what felt good, what made your body want more, and what made you melt. The more you tune into that, the easier it’ll be to recognize what your own orgasm feels like when it happens.

How do you care for your pubic hair? - Meghan P

Honestly this might be the most relevant grooming topic since Kim K’s Skims SOLD OUT pubic hair thongs broke the Internet. Pubic hair is back, baby. And in the case that yours isn’t attached to a thong that requires a delicate cycle rinse or potential dry-cleaning (imagine handing this to your local dry cleaner, haha), caring for it is actually pretty simple.

First off, your pubes have a purpose. They help reduce friction, protect your vulva from bacteria, and trap sweat and debris before it goes places it shouldn’t. If you keep it natural, you’re just being biome-friendly.

Wash with warm water and maybe a gentle, pH-balanced cleanser. There’s no need for scented soaps or wipes that can irritate the skin. I have a vendetta out for every new scented vagina wash that keeps haunting my Instagram ads. You can also use a gentle exfoliating scrubber once in a while to help prevent ingrown hairs. Pat dry after showering and skip the tight synthetic undies if you’re prone to irritation.

If you trim, shave, or wax, that’s fine too, just be gentle. Use clean tools, trim longer hair first, and shave in the direction of growth with cream or lubricant. Remember: hair removal can up your risk of in-growns or micro-cuts. Afterward, moisturize lightly and give the skin a rest day.

Now you saved yourself from needing to buy a $32 pubic hair thong! Hurray! 

I promise you that there is truly NO question too unhinged for F*ck Around and Find Out with Anna Lee. Have a question you’d like me to answer for the next article? Submit them anonymously here!