F*ck Around and Find Out with Anna Lee: Say ‘Ahhh!’

Can our dentists really tell what we've been up to in the bedroom?

Words by Anna Lee

F*ck Around and Find Out with Anna Lee: This is the modern sex advice column you didn’t know you needed, focused on finding confidence in your own pleasure through knowledge and research! Think a fresh reimagining from the days of those pink, star-studded magazine sex advice columns like “10 Ways to Please Your Man” that we all grew up with. In my journey from growing up in a strict, immigrant Korean household, scared of my own body, to my current reality as co-founder of a smart vibrator company and certified sex educator, I realized how much we need to destigmatize the cultural taboo around sexual pleasure. So, hold my hand (if you want to, of course) and together, let’s fuck around and find out every nook and cranny of this sexy world. 🙂 

Have a question you’d like me to answer? Keep ‘em coming by submitting it anonymously here!

Hello, my sweet angel puffs! I hope you're all having a wonderful start to the new year and you've made your resolutions for the year. I mean, life resolutions are cool too, but let's be real, sex resolutions are way more fun to discuss on your dinner date. My sex resolution this year is to conduct a sexual experiment every month. I want to explore things that can enhance my pleasure or provide a different experience. This month, I practiced edging, which was quite a challenge for someone with a short attention span and 82 bulleted to-do lists. (I am fully aware that my job is pretty amazing.) Anyway, enough about me. Let's get to answering your sex questions!

Is the rumor true that dentists can really tell if you’ve given someone a blowjob by looking in your mouth? -MV

First y’all made me ask my gastroenterologist doctor friend your questions about anal, and now I’m texting my dentist friend about blowjobs! (Don’t worry, they love it.) I have actually heard this rumor before on TikTok and swiped by it because surely, it couldn’t be true? Apparently, the answer is…kinda. When you open your mouth for the dentist, they do notice if there is palatal petechiae. This is when that soft, fleshy part at the back of the roof of your mouth experiences bruising from, say, something hitting that area over and over again or the bursting tiny blood vessels from, for example, sucking. Before we all collectively freak out and start canceling our teeth cleaning, my dentist friend assures us of two things:

1. It has to have been a pretty rough glug glug session the night before where you’re really doing some work. Just because you stuck a penis in your mouth doesn’t mean your mouth just immediately awards you the Blowjob Badge of Honor.

An illustrated red badge and ribbon, in a red circle, with "blowjob badge of honor" above it.

Made this badge for y'all.

Courtesy of Anna Lee

2. He says, “we genuinely couldn’t care less. We’d only care if we suspect abuse or something like that but otherwise, I’m there to take care of your oral health and that’s it.”

You heard him, folks. Blow those pickles away.

How do you choose the right vibrator?  -Anonymous

A man in a tuxedo hands a rose to a woman in an evening gown, with other women in evening gowns in the background, with illustrated sex toys superimposed on their faces and "you" over the man's face.

It might take you a few tries before finding the right vibrator.

Courtesy of Anna Lee

Great question! I’ve previously written my practical advice on what to look for when you’re buying a toy for the first time but I’m going to interpret this question to be more about how you philosophically choose “the one.”

I've bought and tried a lot of toys over the years, and I've divided them into three categories: doesn't make me feel good, makes me feel good, and feels like an extension of myself. These categories aren't about the toy making me physiologically feel good, but rather about how it psychologically makes me feel. I grew up in a pretty conservative Korean household and felt ashamed to see myself as a sexual being for a long time. I remember when I was younger, I saw a cheap, plasticky dildo in a store with headless models just focused on their breasts and their legs spread on the packaging. I felt sadness, thinking that this wasn't made for people like me. (Later on, I learned this is just the fault of the outdated sex toy industry and blah, blah.)

So, I categorize toys like this: Which toys make me feel good and empowered to use them as an extension of my sexual self? Which toys make me feel like they were made with people like me in mind? Or, to put it more simply, which toys make me feel like a bad bitch? 💅

What’s a fetish that most people haven’t heard of? -NP

Three cakes in a row, numbered 1-3, with the question "Which cake would you sit on?!" above them.

Decisions, decisions.

Courtesy of Anna Lee

Oh, easy. Wet-and-Messy (WAM) or Sploshing, but specifically for cake sitting. Sploshing is the overall fetish for messy food sensation play and finding arousal in creating messes with food, like sitting and smearing around baked beans. But what I find particularly interesting is the cake-sitting category. It's exactly as it sounds—people sit on cakes and create a huge mess! I have personally never tried it, but I always love knowing how many ways you can explore this fun world. As the saying goes, "don't yuck someone's yum," and I mean...if you're going to choose a yum, what's yummier than cake?!

I promise you that there is truly NO question too unhinged for F*ck Around and Find Out with Anna Lee. Have a question you’d like me to answer for the next article? Submit them anonymously here!

Published on February 2, 2024

Words by Anna Lee

Anna Lee is the co-founder and Head of Engineering of Lioness, the women-led sexual wellness company that built the world’s first and only smart vibrator. Anna was previously a mechanical engineer at Amazon, launching the Amazon Dash Button’s original concept and the Kindle Voyage Page Press Technology. She is a Forbes 30 Under 30 alum and has been covered in numerous publications like Fast CompanyGlamour, and Popular Science, as well as Paper Magazine’s Asian Women Creators You Need to Know and Buzzfeed’s 14 Sex Tech Founders Who Are Changing The Way The World Thinks About Sex. Anna is also a prominent sex education creator on TikTok with nearly 400,000 followers. She is a big advocate of expanding understanding and research in sexual health, and destigmatizing female sexuality.