F*ck Around and Find Out with Anna Lee: Questions that keep us up at night

Hello, my sweet angel pies! I took a walk around Golden Gate Park last week and had that beautiful moment of realizing my favorite season is seasoning. The cherry blossom trees are sprinkling their petals, the grass fields are kissed with pops of little yellow flowers, and rainbows of tulips are lining the walking paths. It’s pure dopamine. More importantly, as someone that has always been close to 50/50 in their Myers-Briggs introverted-versus-extroverted results, this also means that my introverted, homebody season is going on hiatus. I’m feeling a little brighter and I’m craving my extroverted side again. In celebration of my extroverted season, I’m dedicating this month’s article to the great questions that have been keeping my friends up at night and texting me at one in the morning about. 

My boyfriend asked me if we can try snowballing, but I can’t help but feel like it’s kind of…icky? What do you think? Should I do it? -HW

I think my general rule of thumb for any sex act is, if you don’t want to do it, you should never feel forced to do it. But let’s dive a little deeper! In case anyone is unfamiliar with the sex act, snowballing is when a person takes another person’s semen into their mouth and then passes it back into the mouth of the other person. It could also be to another person if there are more than two people involved. (I feel like this could be the plot of a porn movie on the spicier origins of the Abominable Snowman, if there isn’t one already. Ha.)

I’ve heard a full range of people’s reactions to the act. Some find it to be an incredibly hot and dirty act to share fluids. Some find it repulsive and generally don’t like the taste of semen. Some find it as neutral as kissing after oral. All sex acts have a range between yes,no, and maybe, and can change depending on things like situation, partners, and time. I think it’s always worth having a conversation with your partner when you find a mismatch in desires. Like maybe you and your partner might conclude that it’s completely off the table or maybe you’ll find that you’d be willing to try it if it’s not on a day where y’all go eat at an unlimited meat K-BBQ restaurant. Whatever the conclusion, I’ll be so proud of you to have had the conversation with your significant other on the topic!

Also, how can we get this Abominable Snowballing Snowman video made? Hahaha. 

OMG. OMG Anna did you watch that viral video where this doctor says that your labia falls off after menopause? Is it really true? -DS

I think if we are both on the similar algorithms of TikTok, which I would bet we are, you are talking about the fabulous urologist, Dr. Rachel Rubin. She had a viral video clip where she talks about how women do not have labia minoras as babies, grow them in puberty, and as she says in the video, “lose them” in menopause. This led to absolutely hilarious comments of people thinking that it meant that the labia just falls off one day. Like at 55 we’re going to look down at our underwear one day and just be like, “finally! My labia fell off!”

I won’t lie, I actually didn’t know this either until Dr. Rubin’s video! And yes! It’s absolutely true. The labia is not a stagnant part of the body and changes throughout your life. It has so many nerves and blood vessels that play a role in sexual function, as it can get engorged with blood during arousal. As babies, there are no labias, but as you hit puberty and have an increase in estrogen, the labia grows (in all shapes and sizes, might I add!). Then, as estrogen levels decrease during menopause, the labia can experience shrinkage. Notice I said shrinkage, not fall off! I think that’s what Dr. Rubin meant when she said “lose them.” So yes, I am equally disappointed that we won’t discover a delightful pair of lips in our underwear that we can electroplate with silver to make a set of necklace charms. SAD!

Do you know that biohacking guy Bryan Johnson who talks about his and his son’s nighttime erections? What is that about? -HL

Haha. Bryan Johnson always comes into my feed every now and then and I won’t lie, it’s super intriguing to see someone experiment with everything possible to reverse age. And yes, someone has definitely sent me videos of him talking about counting his nocturnal erections and how he’s “de-aging” his penis.