F*ck Around and Find Out with Anna Lee: Lube it or Lose it!

Hello, my sweet shamrock hotties! We made it out of Cupid’s month. Is everyone lubed up? Is everyone flicking the bean? Slapping the monkey? This month is dedicated to the questions that typically involve two (or more) people. But if you’ve been reading for a while, you would know by now that I will always cheer you on if you ever choose to do most sexy things solo. As long as it’s safe and you don’t need someone checking that you’re okay, you go for it, hottie.

There are seriously so many lubes out there. What should I be using for my typical penis-in-vagina sex? How do I choose? -Anonymous

I totally agree there are a crazy amount of lube options out there. In fact, I have a bacon-scented lube and a cupcake frosting-flavored lube sitting in my drawer. (I have never used the former for smashing or masturbating, but I do like to open and smell the atrocity every now and then. I’d like to think there are people out there role playing as strips of bacon sizzling in a cast iron pan.) Anyways, let me break it down to some of the main things I consider when buying lube.

The three main types of lube:

1. Water-based: The MVP of versatility. Safe for condoms and toys, easy to wash off, and generally vagina friendly. The con is that it doesn’t last as long since it dries over time and it wouldn’t be slick enough for most anal play.
2. Silicone-based: Super long lasting, great for shower sex, and safe with latex condoms, but not always compatible with all silicone toys. It’s great for anal as well but the con is that it can stain fabrics and be annoying to try to clean off.
3. Oil-based: Super slick, great for external play and massages, but not condom safe, and can be tricky to clean up. Also depending on the ingredients, a study was done in 2013 that showed an increased risk of yeast infections.

FDA requirements for lube:

Surprise! The FDA actually classifies personal lubricants as medical devices! That means any lube marketed for sexual use and uses the term “lubricant” or “lube” has had to go through basic safety testing for things like condom compatibility and cell damage (cytotoxicity). I will say though, being FDA approved doesn’t mean all lubes are automatically good for you—some still contain ingredients that can throw off your pH balance or have parabens. Also, it’s worth noting sometimes brands use the term “lube” without realizing they have to go through the FDA if they want to use the terminology. This is why you’ll see some products called “vaginal moisturizer” or “intimate gel.” This is actually one of my favorite fun facts most people don’t know!

The TL;DR answer your question about a lube for typical penis-in-vagina sex (because I am nerding out about lubes and if I don’t stop now, I’ll write three pages about lube), I’d recommend:

1. Going with a water-based lube if you don’t mind reapplying every now and then as it dries out.
2. Checking that it is paraben-free.
3. Researching that it’s biocompatible with your natural vaginal pH balance of 3.8-4.5.
4. Extra credit bonus: I like to look at the packaging and think about what it would be like to use it in the heat of the moment and if your hands are slippery with the lube. Is it easy to open? Will it break if I drop it?

My personal go-to one (not sponsored) has always been Good Clean Love’s Almost Naked lubricant. It’s super accessible and sold at a ton of stores. Happy slip-and-sliding!

What’s the perfect length of time for sex to last? -Jonah

Another question I love to be asked! It absolutely varies depending on the people involved and what they prefer, so there’s never a true unified “perfect.” With this said, I always love to emphasize that the length of time for sex should start from the moment you are doing things to feel good and in the mood, and doing things for your partner(s) involved to feel good and in the mood. Especially in our society, we weirdly love to emphasize how long a penis should be in a vagina in hetero sex, but I think that is so overrated. I want people to include the time they’ve been massaging their partner beforehand, the time they’ve been receiving oral, or even the time you sat in the bath to clear your head.

If you wanted to get a numbers answer from me, there is a great study published in 2017 that compared the probability of having an orgasm to the length of sex for men and women. To note strongly, the duration of sex included foreplay, kissing, and touching. Not just the penetrative sex part.

For women and their probability to have an orgasm:

• 37 percent: 30-60 minutes
• 35 percent: 15-30 minutes
• 13 percent: longer than 60 minutes
• 11 percent: less than 15 minutes

For men:

• 40 percent: 15-30 minutes
• 32 percent: 30-60 minutes
• 17 percent: less than 15 minutes
• 11 percent: longer than 60 minutes

My final fun fact for this month is that this study also reported lesbian women were finding no statistical significance in the different length of times. They crushed it having orgasms in all time categories. Gotta love lesbians!

I promise you that there is truly NO question too unhinged for F*ck Around and Find Out with Anna Lee. Have a question you’d like me to answer for the next article? Submit them anonymously here!