F*ck Around and Find Out with Anna Lee: This is the modern sex advice column you didn’t know you needed, focused on finding confidence in your own pleasure through knowledge and research! Think a fresh reimagining from the days of those pink, star-studded magazine sex advice columns like “10 Ways to Please Your Man” that we all grew up with. In my journey from growing up in a strict, immigrant Korean household, scared of my own body, to my current reality as co-founder of a smart vibrator company and certified sex educator, I realized how much we need to destigmatize the cultural taboo around sexual pleasure. So, hold my hand (if you want to, of course) and together, let’s fuck around and find out every nook and cranny of this sexy world. 🙂
Have a question you’d like me to answer? Keep ‘em coming by submitting it anonymously here!
Hi, hotties! This week, lay a towel down because we’re making it a wet one. I got many submissions over the past few weeks around squirting: How do you have one, is it pee, is it an orgasm, is it real, etc. So today, I’m dedicating this whole column to this wonderful, elusive, mystical human waterfall.
Q: What is squirting exactly? -KL
A: Okay! Let me put my nerd hat on and get a little technical for a second, because this is a fiercely debated topic in the world of research. The general consensus is that there are two separate fluids that people could mean when referencing “squirting:” one is involuntary expulsion of clear-ish fluid from your bladder partially consisting of diluted urine, and the other is a small amount of whitish fluid that comes from the pair of Skene’s glands (located near the G-spot area towards the front wall of the vagina). So really, it depends who you’re asking and which fluid they’re talking about, because some people might experience the bladder fluid or the Skene’s glands’ fluid, or a mix of both. The way I like to simply think about squirting is that it’s some type of fluid that involuntarily comes out when a particular area of the vagina is stimulated. Almost like a cool magic trick if you ask me!
Q: Is squirting real? -HW
A: Totally real, but maybe not exactly in the way that many people might think. Let me explain. Like myself previously, I think some people may have only seen squirting in porn videos, which typically portray squirting as this huge, gushing waterfall of fluids. Although some of those shots may be real, adult entertainers will also often put water up their vagina off-camera to get that waterfall shot for the film. Many people who squirt in real life may only experience a small trickle that could even go unnoticed! This is because the Skene’s glands only produce about a tablespoon of liquid. As an iconic trio once said, “Don’t go chasing waterfalls”. :)
Q: What does squirting feel like? -JP
A: The Skene’s glands are located inside the vagina, up toward the belly button, right around the urethra and near the ridged area we typically call the g-spot. The feeling right before squirting is commonly described as feeling the need to pee. This is because when you stimulate the Skene’s glands, you are applying pressure to that entire area, including the urethra and toward the bladder. I like to use this feeling as an indicator that I’m in the right zone to potentially squirt. The sensation typically feels different then an orgasm.
Q: Is it safe to swallow squirting fluid? Is it pee? -MC
A: Ahh the very classic “is it pee” question. To be very short and sweet: it is a little bit pee. There is a research study where they took ultrasound images of the bladder before and after squirting and saw that the bladder does shrink afterwards. But to be a little more defensive about why I think squirting is still cool as hell is that this is the full composition of squirting fluid:
Water (H2O): 95%
Urea (H2NCONH2): 9.3 g/l to 23.3 g/l
Chloride (Cl-): 1.87 g/l to 8.4 g/l
Sodium (Na+): 1.17 g/l to 4.39 g/l
Potassium (K+): 0.750 g/l to 2.61 g/l
Creatinine (C4H7N3O): 0.670 g/l to 2.15 g/l
Inorganic sulfur (S): 0.163 to 1.80 g/l
It’s really mostly water! Another way to think about it is that people with penises who ejaculate semen technically also have urine in their semen since it all comes out of the same hole.
And to answer whether it’s safe to swallow squirting fluid, I haven’t personally heard any anecdotal stories of it being dangerous. Just remember to always practice safe sex with your partners, communicate with each other, and get tested regularly!
Q: Are orgasms better when you’ve mastered squirting? -LD
A: So glad you asked this question! There is a common misconception that squirting happens during an orgasm. However, squirting has nothing to do with orgasms! Squirting happens because you stimulated the correct spot. So it could happen while having an orgasm, just because you’re hitting the right spot at that moment, but otherwise it has nothing to do with orgasms! It’s just a fun little addition to sexy time.
Q: Can everyone squirt? -EL
A: Honestly, I’m not sure, but speaking as a previous non-believer who didn’t know how to squirt, baby, I’m a believer now. For those of you who want to try exploring and having fun experimenting with squirting, I have personally found Kenneth Play’s (@kenneth_play) instructional videos very helpful, as well as very curved dildos to try and really get towards the Skene’s glands. Also let me emphasize, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you if you haven’t experienced squirting. That is all 100% normal and perfect! Also, I’m telling ya, sometimes it’s such a small trickle of fluid, you may have squirted and not even noticed it!
Happy diving, everyone :)
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Published on October 6, 2022
Words by Anna Lee
Anna Lee is the co-founder and Head of Engineering of Lioness, the women-led sexual wellness company that built the world’s first and only smart vibrator. Anna was previously a mechanical engineer at Amazon, launching the Amazon Dash Button’s original concept and the Kindle Voyage Page Press Technology. She is a Forbes 30 Under 30 alum and has been covered in numerous publications like Fast Company, Glamour, and Popular Science, as well as Paper Magazine’s Asian Women Creators You Need to Know and Buzzfeed’s 14 Sex Tech Founders Who Are Changing The Way The World Thinks About Sex. Anna is also a prominent sex education creator on TikTok with nearly 400,000 followers. She is a big advocate of expanding understanding and research in sexual health, and destigmatizing female sexuality.