F*ck Around and Find Out With Anna Lee: Your Craziest Sex Questions Answered

Sexy people, we are at the curtain call for 2022. Last week, I put a call out on my Instagram to submit all their final burning, unhinged sex questions for me to answer (so you’d have something really fun to talk about at the family holiday dinner table, of course). And boy, y’all really did not want me to relax this holiday season. I got so many submissions that I’ve spent hours researching papers, reading textbooks, asking doctor friends, and putting my imagination to the ultimate test. I don’t know which love language this is, but I really love and appreciate all the curiosities you’ve entrusted with me. Here’s to another sexy year with you all here at JoySauce. *sprays lube into the sky*

How do I stop queefing? Asking for a friend. -anonymous

There’s no real medical reason why you’d have to stop queefing, but I totally understand that queefs feel like they happen at the most inopportune moments, like during sex.

Hehe. Okay, I’m going to be the first to admit here that one time I queefed in yoga the moment I got into the Ananda Balasana, aka Happy Baby Pose, and I looked around the room as if I was looking for the culprit, when I was the queef queen herself. Phew, I’m now finally feeling a little lighter from this confession. For the ones blessed with never having experienced a queef, queefing is more technically known as vaginal flatulence. It’s when a good amount of air enters the vagina and then involuntarily escapes the vaginal canal to create a lil’ fart noise. The important thing to emphasize here is that even though it sounds like a fart, they’re completely odorless, totally involuntary, and super common! It just happens because air gets trapped in the vagina.

There’s no real medical reason why you’d have to stop queefing, but I totally understand that queefs feel like they happen at the most inopportune moments, like during sex. I’ve personally found when I feel like a certain sex position has pushed a lot of air into the vagina and there’s a chance I might queef, I pull whatever is penetrating me in closer (i.e. a penis, finger, or toy) and keep it inside me while I adjust to a new position. This seems to help create a bit of a barrier to help the air escape quietly and slowly. And if I do end up queefing, I just look the person in the eyes, give a cheeky smile, pull their head closer to my ear and whisper, “That’s how I know you’re fucking me so good,” and just continue having sex. Tell your friend that I have yet to have this maneuver fail. Works like a charm.

What’s the perfect rhythm and tempo I should be giving blowjobs to? Give me a song suggestion as an example. -anonymous

This is one of my favorite questions anyone has ever submitted, and let me tell you why: Not only did you put me in the zone for the past 30 minutes bopping my head to my Spotify playlists being like “No, this tempo would break my neck!” but you also brought a frenzy into my group chats with my friends sending their ideal song tempos and others in the chat applauding or booing their suggestions. I. LOVE. THIS. SO. MUCH. Nothing brings friends closer than talking about blowjob tempos apparently.

Ultimately, there is really no perfect answer because every person, situation, and vibe will be different. You’ll see how true this is from just the list of suggestions from different penis-owners and penis-lovers below! So really, the only two tips I can really give that will guarantee a good time with oral sex: asking and communicating with the receiver and expressing enthusiasm during oral. And now, you can even start the conversation like, “Hey, I read this super cool sex advice column that asked what song has the perfect tempo for blowjobs. What would yours be?”

Nothing brings friends closer than talking about blowjob tempos apparently.

Finally, without further ado, here are 10 answers that were submitted to me by friends for songs they believe have the perfect BJ tempo: 

• Stayin’ Alive - Bee Gees
• Friendly Skies - Missy Elliott feat. Ginuwine
• Eye of the Tiger - Survivor
• Chamber of Reflection - Mac DeMarco
• Over and Over - sky
• Volpinata - Enzo Elia
• Paper Planes - M.I.A
• Satisfaction - Benny Benassi
• Magic Stick - Lil’ Kim

…And my favorite answer:

• Run to the Hills - Iron Maiden

All I’m saying is…they better be getting a really nice neck massage after that one.

Can you feel the shape of unpooped poop from inside the vagina? -anonymous

This is the BEST head-scratcher I’ve ever received and I love you, anonymous person, for submitting it. This question put me through like five stages of emotions, ranging from: “I don’t know the answer to this. Am I a fraud of a sex advice columnist?!” to “OMG, has anyone felt me needing to poop during sex?!” to “I can’t believe I have the coolest job in the world.” You really got me sitting at my computer reading and looking at diagrams of colons and rectums to make my educated guess to this question.

“It’s probably possible if the person is very constipated and has an extremely hard poop sitting in their rectum. But I can’t say I’ve ever personally determined the exact shape of an unpooped poop via said technique.”

And my answer is…“Yes, probably, if it’s big enough.” My guess comes from the fact that the vaginal canal and rectum are fairly close together and are supported by the pelvic floor muscles along with the bladder and uterus. And because they are near each other, there is actually a medical-termed technique called “vaginal splinting” to help with constipation through the vagina. Vaginal splinting is where you place a finger inside the vagina and push against the vaginal walls towards the rectum to mechanically assist in pushing out the stool. This leads me to believe that if this was my $1 million question on Who Wants to be a Millionaire, I’d say, “The answer is yes, it is definitely possible to feel the unpooped poop from inside the vagina. Lock it in, Regis.” However, I wasn’t 100 percent satisfied with my own hypothesis so I decided to use my phone-a-friend card to ask this question to my wonderful gastroenterologist doctor friend who said without even batting an eye, “Hmm…it’s probably possible if the person is very constipated and has an extremely hard poop sitting in their rectum. But I can’t say I’ve ever personally determined the exact shape of an unpooped poop via said technique.”

So there you have it folks, I got a doctor to say “unpooped poop.” You’re welcome.

Y’all, I promise you that there is truly NO question too unhinged for F*ck Around and Find Out with Anna Lee. Have a question you’d like me to answer for the next article? Submit them anonymously here!