Charles Ling from ‘The Golden Bachelorette’ is taking charge
He shares his advice for love, relationships, and navigating grief and loss
Charles Ling
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Words by Daniel Anderson
Charles Ling, a standout from season one of The Golden Bachelorette, quickly captured hearts with his gentle nature and undeniable charm. The retired data analyst from Pennsylvania made an unforgettable impression on lead Joan Vassos, who also bonded with him over their shared experience of losing a spouse. From the moment he introduced himself to Vassos with a humorous quip about not being in charge, fans were instantly smitten—though they certainly wished he was.
Ling became a viral sensation after endearing moments like wandering around the mansion, exploring the kitchen, and interacting with the other contestants in a relaxed, kind manner. His actions sparked viral clips, with fans rallying behind him with sentiments like "Protect Charles at all costs." Many are also clamoring for him to become the next Golden Bachelor.
Ling chatted with JoySauce about his experience on the show, how to overcome grief and his advice for love and relationships.
This interview has been edited for clarity and length.
Daniel Anderson: What inspired you to join The Golden Bachelorette? I know your daughters influenced the decision, but were you hesitant at first, or was it an easy choice?
Charles Ling: Yeah, my daughter actually got me into it. She was home for a short vacation and just before she left, she suggested I watch The Golden Bachelor. I’d maybe seen an episode or two, but she sat down and explained the show to me. After we watched together, she said, “Dad, you should apply!” I was hesitant—I’d never been on TV, and I didn’t know if I’d even get in, let alone compete. But she knows me well, knows my personality, so eventually, I agreed. Not long after, I got a call, and things snowballed from there. Looking back, it was a good decision.
DA: What was your first impression of Joan? It seemed like you two built a great friendship—do you have a favorite memory or conversation with her?
CL: Joan is a very intelligent and charming lady. The first night I met her in person, it was pretty late, and I was nervous—not only because it was our first meeting, but also with all the cameras around. But as soon as we started talking, I didn’t feel nervous at all. She’s very open, a great listener, and such an easy communicator. Our conversation just flowed naturally. During that first meeting, I thought, “How can I break the ice if I need to?” So, I used the line, “Charles, not in charge,” which a lot of fans seemed to love.
As we talked more, we found we had a lot in common. For one, we both share the sad experience of loss—she lost her husband a few years back, and I lost my wife. We’re both very focused on family and care deeply for our loved ones. And we both felt it was time to step beyond our usual boundaries, reaching out to find happiness in this new chapter. All these common grounds helped us connect deeply, and we really began to like each other and genuinely care for one another. We developed a strong relationship, one that started as a friendship.
DA: People loved seeing the friendships you formed with your fellow contestants—it’s such a wholesome part of the show. Could you share a favorite bonding moment with the other guys?
CL: Surprisingly, most of us were in our 60s, and I think people might have had a bit of a cliché in mind—that men our age don’t socialize much, that we’d rather stay at home watching TV or aren’t that active. But this group of 24 men? From the first night we met, the energy was so high. We didn’t feel like strangers at all; it was more like a reunion with old friends. As we got to the second and third days, we realized how much everyone genuinely cared about each other.
Sure, there was a sense of competition—24 men on one side, a charming lady on the other. You’d think it would be intensely competitive, but it wasn’t. We all understood the nature of the show, and of course, everyone wanted to do well. But if one person got a rose, the others might feel disappointed but not sad. In fact, those who didn’t receive a rose were genuinely happy for the ones who did. As time went on, our friendships grew stronger and stronger. I think the audience could see this, too, and maybe they thought, “Wow, if these men can form such strong bonds, why can’t we?” So I hope it’s a good message for viewers and their loved ones—to reach out, connect, and realize that there’s still so much joy to share and moments to enjoy together.
DA: As you mentioned, part of your journey on the show involved navigating grief and loss—topics that can be especially sensitive in the Asian American community and aren’t often shown publicly. What was it like for you to process that so openly on the show?
CL: To be honest, I was a little bit concerned. With my background, you know, we tend to keep more things to ourselves, especially in public or in front of strangers. That was my main worry. But once I was there, I started to forget about that worry. Watching other people open up, I thought, maybe I could, too. I did wonder what my kids, friends, and relatives would think, seeing me share so openly on TV. Sure, there was some concern at the beginning, but once I was there with everyone, my stress level really went down. So, I started opening up gradually, and over time, I felt more free to share with the guys and with Joan. It took some days, but in the end, I was able to open up, just like the rest of the group.
@_marisarose_ Charles you had me sobbing already are u kidding 😭🤍 #goldenbachelor #goldenbachelorette #bachelornation ♬ original sound - Marisa 🌈😘
DA: You mentioned initially wondering how your friends and family would react to you sharing such personal moments. Now that the episodes have aired, how have their reactions been, especially seeing sides of you that maybe you haven’t shown before?
CL: Actually, the response has been better than I expected. For example, my daughters told me, “Dad, we didn’t realize how sad you were all those years.” And that’s because I didn’t want them to worry about me. We don’t live together—they’re in different cities—so whenever we talk, we always focus on the good things. I never showed them how I was really feeling. The first few months alone were probably the hardest for me. No one was around, and then COVID-19 hit, making things even worse. But when the show aired, not only were my family members happy to see me on TV, but many of my friends reached out as well. My daughters said they were really happy to see that I struggled and had difficult days, but I was ready to open up and step outside my boundaries. They want to see the old Charles—the happy, optimistic, and cheerful one—and I think they’re very happy that I did this program. I got a lot out of it, too.
DA: What advice or encouragement do you have for those navigating grief and healing?
CL: I would tell them not to keep it to themselves. The worries and concerns may not be necessary, because others don't truly know how you're feeling. Just open up and talk about what's on your mind—the tough experiences or the bad days you're going through. When you do, people will be able to talk with you and help you work through it. Sometimes, your family might take you away for a few days or invite you to an event, and those things can really help you heal.
DA: For young people navigating love and relationships, are there any key lessons or philosophies you personally hold that have guided you?
CL: In my understanding, whether you're young or old, the key is to be yourself. Be sincere with the other person, share your past, and let them know your outlook on the future. If there are misunderstandings, especially among young people, it's important to talk things out rather than getting upset without expressing what's on your mind. So, I would say, be open, be straightforward, and resolve any differences.
If, for whatever reason, the journey you're on, whether you're young or senior like us, doesn't lead to a happy ending, that's fine. Just change direction and move on to another path. Eventually, you'll find happiness. For me, I came home empty-handed, though I made a lot of great friends. But in terms of the journey, I paused at the final rose ceremony, which was emotional and not easy to accept. Yet, I had to face reality and move on. I don't know if you saw my exit interviews, but I just shared my feelings. Still, I felt stronger after the experience, and I believe I’ll be able to handle whatever comes next in my future.
DA: You quickly became a fan favorite. Would you consider becoming the next Golden Bachelor if you were asked?
CL: At this moment, I’d still say it's a little early to predict what I should do if the opportunity knocks on my door. I might need some more time to think it over.
Published on November 13, 2024
Words by Daniel Anderson
Daniel Anderson is a disabled Chinese American adoptee based in Seattle. His freelance writing specialties include K-pop, entertainment, and food. He believes that any restaurant can be a buffet, and the key to success is to take a nap each day. Follow his adventures on Instagram @danzstan.